I know I need to post an update on here at some point. I just don't have it in me right now. I just don't care to.
While looking through the blogs in my reader I realized I haven't read damn near anything for quite a while so I began to read and remembered why I'd taken a break. I feel so out of place in this IF world right now. I'm no longer TTC and we're not officially a 'waiting couple'. Yet. (hoping for this month, provided things get done soon, surgery zapped my energy) It's almost like I don't really fit in. Not in this virtual little world and not in the real day to day world. So I'm sorry I've been total shit in commenting. I'll get back into it. Promise.
Things this week have been hard. I have great friends that I can talk to but I find myself holding back. Not because I don't trust them of value the friendship cuz I really really do and she's an amazing friend but because I just CAN'T talk about it. (You know who you are, I know you read this blog. and Yes, I promise I'm ok haha) I feel bad talking to LTL about it. He's got other things on his mind and it all boils down to me just not being able to talk about it.
Today after work I got home and just sat for almost 15 minutes not wanting to get out of the car. I don't know why either. I was at the grocery store right before and started to get all anxious and emotional. It was weird. All I wanted to do was sit in my car with AFI playing loud and zone out.
I hope this funk ends ASAP. I've got a life to get on with.
Hopefully I can get a good update on here soon. (I'm semi better with my Twitter acct updates btw. Beware of vulgarity. Especially if you read the timeline and see the stuff from surgery. Bahahaha. What can I say, Lortab, pain, fighting with my MIL and stupid nurses bring out the best in me)
