June 18 2010

Little, no LARGE update
Yeah I know. It's been quite a while since I posted. Oh well. Life happens and priorities are set and blogging just isn't a priority lately. :)

Anywho. LTL leaves for Texas on Monday. He'll be there... A while. I've had some pretty crappy days just thinking about it. I'm doing better lately though and I have to wonder if it's these new supplements I'm taking. It's supposed to boost my energy and one thing almost all the people say is that their mood increased. Yay. :) hopefully it lasts.

I'll try to head to Texas to see him a few times. We just don't know what's allowed just yet so I'm in the wait and see phase. I figure as long as I can be there the weekend of his birthday I'm happy. :)

With the pups. Oh my. Darwin and Einstein have become great friends. Einstein seems like he is constantly seeking Darwins approval it's cute. At Einstein's dr appt Tuesday I found out he gained roughly 2 pounds. I thought he gained more though. He's so much bigger now! Luckily still cute haha.

The condo. Oh good hell the condo. Haha. It's been a painful process. The 'master bathroom' is almost done. We (really just LTL) were going to try to get the other bathroom/laundry room tiled but there just isn't enough time. I'm a little bummed but it's because I want all those boxes of tile and supplies GONE. :) it'll happen soon enough though. The day LTL leaves I'm going to try to do some painting. Keyword is TRY. We'll see if I'm up for it. I also have some other plans for what I'd like to do while he's gone.

LTL and I hit the 2 year mark. June 4th we celebrated our 2nd anniversary. It was awesome. We stayed at the CCI which is where we stayed our wedding night but that time we didn't get the full effect because we had to leave so early to catch our flight for Hawaii. But this time we we able to 'sleep in' and take time getting ready and enjoy the nice breakfast they serve. It was wonderful. Then we just hung out together all day. Had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. Shopped at Home Depot haha. Etc.

I still feel incredibly lucky/blessed to be married to LTL. The trials we've been put through have only made our relationship stronger. Each step of this infertility trial has been rough but we've done so well with communicating that it's all turned out well. We were lucky to be able to find out so quickly how we needed to communicate. During this process of infertility testing/treatment egos were bruised, souls were mourning, hearts were breaking and we came out of it HAPPY. In fact I can say I came out of it downright GIDDY. Giddy about my relationship with my husband. Giddy about our current situation. It may not be ideal in certain areas but it's ours and I love it. Giddy about the next step. Giddy about all the things in my patriarchal blessing. Giddy about this Infertility Group that I had the guts to agree to host/start. Giddy about CHANGE. Giddy about our families. They are an amazing source of support and strength. Giddy about life. Yeah I think that covers almost everything. If not and I missed something just assume I'm giddy about it. Mmmkay pumpkin? :)

Hmmm anything I've left out to update? Why yes, I do believe there is. I bet at least one of you is expecting me to bust out in all caps saying I'm pregnant. Any takers on that bet?

No??

Good thinking. I'm not. I won't be. I can't be. We got a diagnosis. It's less than stellar. But we're OVER IT. Pregnancy was soooo 2009/2010, right? (if you are pregnant or recently had your baby please know this is all in good fun and not meant negative. I'm trying to make it lighthearted and possibly make a few of you giggle at my lack of sorrow. And if you just had a baby and I haven't told you, yes I think your baby is adorable and I mean it from the bottom of my heart and soul.) One of our doctors (the reproductive specialist) gave us hope that there were things he could do to get me pregnant so we could have a genetic/biological baby. We got this news 3 days after I received my patriarchal blessing. Based on what I was told in that and gut instinct we sought a second opinion. The second doctor (not a reproductive specialist but still a specialist) was far less optimistic. He gave us real numbers and really didn't give us any hope. He was focused more on health and such. Not on getting me pregnant. That I respect. His view was that it would be VERY unlikely for us to have a baby. By hearing that I was calmed. We finally felt relief from what someone was telling us. It finally fit and made sense.

So here is my announcement.

Here is my update.

We have chosen to stop fertility treatments/testing completely. We are going to pursue adoption. When LTL gets back we can get official with it. I am beyond giddy. I think I always knew we'd adopt. It was just a matter of it we did it first or second. :) The blessing I got pretty much confirmed it being our pathway.

Soooooooo if anyone hears of someone wishing to place their baby with an awesome couple just keep us in mind. We'd be delighted. When LTL gets back we'll meet with an agency and get things going. (we're going to give lds adoption services a go. I know I don't have the name quite right but you get the idea. I swear I've seen it called lds family services, it's about love, etc etc.) We're not going to put limitations on what child we're 'willing' to adopt because in all honesty, it's not about what we want. It's about us being picked by a loving birth mother that finds a connection with us and has faith in us raising the baby she carried for all that time. Race doesn't matter. It never has and it never will. As my mom put it so brilliantly, 'those babies that are adopted weren't necessarily supposed to be with the birth parents, Heavenly Father had other plans for them but needed them to get to their eternal families on earth somehow'. Ok so it's a loose quote but it's the general idea that matters.

I hope that those reading this will be respectful.

If you don't agree with our choice to stop fertility treatment I suggest you keep your comments to yourself. If you don't agree with our choice to pursue adoption I suggest you remove yourself from my life. This is something I feel very strongly about and I will not accept anyone making mean comments or derogatory remarks. Sorry for the snappy words here. I just figure if I lay it all out now I save myself and others from potential drama. :)

So there you have it. All the updates I can think of. I'm sure there are other things I've neglected to mention. I'll get around to it. Eventually. I've also got a ton of pictures to put on here. Maybe that'll happen Monday after I drop LTL off at the airport. Maybe.