May 7 2010

We were supposed to.
We were supposed to have an appointment this morning.

We were supposed to hear some test results.

We were supposed to have some peace of mind right now.

We were supposed to have a better idea of which path we would be headed down next.

We were supposed to be able to one part of this journey to rest.

We were supposed to be moving on to that next step.

We were supposed to be able to rid ourselves of this anxiety. (ok ok I'm the one with the anxiety so it's more me than we)

It's no surprise to me at this point that our dr still doesn't have our test results. It still bothers me but it's not a big surprise.

At least this time they called me days before today to let me know they needed to bump back our appointment. So now we wait AGAIN. In a way I don't really care what the results are. We'll move forward in one direction or another. I just want to know what I should prepare myself for. Needles? Or paperwork and relying on someone to give birth and choose us to parent their child? Either one I'm fine with. I just want to prepare for it.

Random sidenote which I am thinking could be connected in the strangest of ways.

Sunday I get my patriarchal(spelling anyone?) blessing. Yeah I know, your next thought/question us, you never got yours?!? No. I didn't. It wasn't the right time for me until now. I have wondered lately if this blessing is linked to the dr appt. It's so weird that our appt was supposed to be today but is now a couple days after my blessing. I also find it ironic that my blessing happens on mothers day (I tried to reschedule for the patriarchs wife's sake but he said no). Also AF is scheduled to show Wednesday. Too many things for it to be coincidental. Haha. Let's hope I get some good insight/direction/help. :)